That was FUCKING AMAZING. When I saw "chapter 2.4" I was expecting maybe 2 hours tops. 6 hours later I'm sitting here in the middle of the night writing this post absolutely floored.
There's too many things to praise so I'll just pick out my favorites.
Lyna
She's so angry and impulsive and reckless and indecisive. I loved watching her waffle between emotions once her mom showed up and I'm loving how manipulative she is! She adds some spice to what could've been a wholesome but run of the mill (as the fetish goes) incest story
The Music
The choice of music (and sounds for that matter) are HUGE in productions like this. It's so easy to just grab any of the myriad Kevin MacLeod tracks that everyone uses. And hell, in most cases they work just fine. But when you hand pick a song(s) for a scene or better yet create one? It doesn't just hit, it SLAPS. I cannot underestimate the escalation from excited to hyped when the right track kicks in at the right moment.
The buildup
The pace feels good. You could've bolted to the finish or drug it out an eternity and still had a good narrative either way. But as it currently stands the gradual escalations are nice. They're enough to tantalize and frequent enough that you don't feel like you're just clicking through to get to the next spicy bit (not that I'd want to, the story outside of the lewd is quite engaging as well). The only thing that felt off is the rate of progression with the mother. Things felt like they progressed unnaturally rapidly with her. However, for her to spurn the one while clinging to the other? It makes for a zesty dynamic that makes me less inclined to dislike her sudden boldness.
All that to say I absolutely cannot wait for the next update and I will be subbing immediately xD
Thank you for the lovely words! I'm very glad you liked my novel so much. Don't forget to leave a review too :P
I like that you paid attention to the music especially! As for Helga, well, let's say that she's very lonely and I don't like to blue ball too much. But yeah, the naughtiest bits will take a bit longer to come than for Lyna.
I came here to praise your story, and was a bit surprised to read negative aspects concerning moral/legal issues. This is a great porn story, filled with exactly what I look for in porn VNs.
Please keep up the great work--it is wonderful escapism and fantasy and I love exploring every new release.
He's right that she's selfish and inconsiderate, repeatedly pushing far past his comfort zone despite being unambiguously told to stop and why. I actually don't mind this; characters in literature of this type tend to be perfect, it's refreshing to finally play a game where they aren't.
What's been bugging me is the way Erik reacts (or rather, practically doesn't) after the cave incident. He's already feeling guilty about what he's done with her, then she basically pins him down and rapes him while he's too disoriented to resist, and then... almost nothing? He feels a bit guilty and there are gestures at being angry, but in his thoughts, there are none of the emotions you'd expect; no real fury or pain or sense of betrayal or much of anything, really. Supposedly he feels ashamed and guilty, but then a day later he's agreeing to get drunk with her despite surely knowing where that would lead, so apparently not that ashamed. It just feels too easy, like you didn't really capture the angst he would be feeling there.
I don't mean to be too critical. In general, your treatment of these characters and the taboo itself is quite sophisticated. It just made that scene and its (lack of) fallout disappointing, IMO.
Because he feels the same, he can't be truly angry at her. The guilt is just a facade, an excuse that will get overcomed over time.
The entire premise of day 6 is to show they can't be without each other. For that I made the deliberate choice to have them mostly converse through the phone, eavesdrop, have internal monologues... They don't interact much directly until the night.
About the wine, it helped because he wouldn't have had the balls yet to talk about those things with her without some alcohol during that night. And then the next day the full reality of the situation comes crashing down and he breaks again.
I'm gonna be honest, some parts of the story so far have been major red flags, Lyna is borderline abusive at times with gaslighting and crossing very clear boundaries. I don't think it's to bad of a story but it's clear that she is abusing her power of him, any boundary she sets is final but any he sets is a goal... Male rape cases are valid, sure you sitting at home thinking "I'm ok with it so he should be too." but imagine it was someone you weren't interested in sexually at all now it's a whole different story. NO is final but the gaslighting she does with victim blaming makes it really hard to sit through at times. Ok yeah she actually sexually abused him while he was sleeping. Listen I'm all for taboo shit, but any rape where the mc character has no say in it happening is a lot, it'd be different if we had choices but this is just fucked. Consensual non consent is a thing but it's not this...
Huh? I don't know if you noticed but this is a story with a clear taboo relationship between them, that's why Erik resists so freaking hard even though it's clearly stated multiple times that he has feelings for her too. (And it'll be much clear in 1.5)
And I don't see this abuse you talk about, it's just a slow build up between two already very close individuals, one which keeps denying his true feelings so the other is forced to take the initiative.
Also I don't get why you are shocked by some mild stuff? Seriously, that night scene is kinda tame compared to the many AVNs where the male MC is just an extremely unhinged pervert who does way worse things from the very start, so I don't t get this double standard of it being okay when a male does it but not a woman.
It's a lot because there is no choice, usually you have to ability to not be a crazy prev, and yes I know it's taboo but taboo vs illegal are two very different things. I don't codon any form of abuse from almost any game. Just because he has feeling doesn't justify how she acts. Having it being a more healthy relationship could tell a great story.
Recognizing abuse is not always easy, the beach seen with the sunscreen is what truly through me off, where it went from more light hearted to way to much, she went past his boundaries then started blaming him for what happened, that is gaslighting and victim blaming. She knows that she has power over him and uses it to get what she wants, that is abuse.
I don't mind taboo there's a lot of games I enjoy that have consensual non consent and other degeneracy but having no choice just makes it read like it's all her doing instead of us the reader/player.
As for "being forced to take the initiative" that is ok in a relationship but that isn't this. Knowing that you have the lead in this you have to make sure that the other person is always ok, communication is key in any relationship. You have to be the bigger person and be welcoming to the other not forcing them.
I don't expect people to like this opinion but morally I can't stand watching someone being gaslit and abused, someone who's shy isn't denying their feelings they might just take longer to accept them, it's ok to take your time.
Overall it's not a slow build it took place over a few days. I never said it's ok for a male to do it I brought this up because any abuse is not ok and male sexual abuse goes heavily unreported. It's not that I hate all the taboo stuff, it's how the story is written, it's someone clearly breaking boundaries in what is a very serious game. A lot of other VN's get away with it for me anyway because they're not meant to be taken seriously, this wants to be.
My opinion is that you are overthinking this and only seeing those signs of supposed gaslight while ignoring the rest of the dialogues and narration. Plus, yes I know it's just a few days but I tried to build up a backstory and some of their past a bit so you realize their relationship has been cooking their whole life (but I don't have the time to tell that in a traditional way, obviously).
You'll see Erik is just as much in love with Lyna as she is on him in 1.5. And even if I did go in that direction you say, it's still fiction so whatever. I just want to tell a hot story that is not the usual taboo AVN where the main topic is not approached in the slightest at all and the characters might as well not have any labels.
i do not see his 'red flags'. All I see is 2 young adults strugling with feelings for each other which are deemed taboo by the sociatal constructs being handed down from one generation to the next. I do kinda see her as being more assertive in her approach to those feelings and him being more timid (which is refreshing to see in a VN because usually the MC is cocky SoB or at least becomes one).
Basically I don't see any problems this VN offers except to people that had their minds crippled by society. I have friends in my circle that have had the courage to break through these boundaries. (not solely talking about inter-familiar concepts).
Now that that is out of the way, i would like to adres the dev for the game itself. You, my good sir, have created what i would call part of a masterpiece. The story is built good, albeit very different. The characters have a decent backstory which is being explained during the story and epilogue. The visuals are good. The amount of content was lacking but that was to be expected from a game that has not been released that long. All in all i give this VN a solid 8.5/10 already.
And i'm very much looking forward to new content.
Keep up the good work and i hope you will not let others dictate what's good or not. Because you have to remember that you cannot appease everyone with the same content.
You need 100% FEWER Twitch THOTs in your life. Those THOTs and their militant lesbian friends have lied to you. They have an agenda to push, and can't let stupid shit like facts get in the way!
Just because someone doesn't get a clear written "yes" before every action taken does NOT equal rape and/or abuse.
Furthermore, you say that taboo is OK, but criminal behavior is not. Spoiler alert: TABOO IS ILLEGAL! Even if completely consensual, practitioners of incest can be charged with the CRIME of incest. D'oh!
So, while you say, "I don't want criminal behavior represented in a game;" what you really mean is, "please only show me the criminal behavior that I like and accept." (That hurts your credibility more than a little.)
Finally, thanks for convincing me to download this game. I'm totally cool with rape, the more aggressive and (fingers crossed) violent the better. Thanks to you, this game went from "meh, probably not" all the way to "fuck, I can't miss this!"
I absolutely did NOT expect violence. I was mocking his overly sensitive reaction to a girl pushing a guy's boundaries and/or buttons.
I'm an old man. I'm well aware that "no" doesn't necessarily mean no. Especially when it comes to two people that have a long standing relationship. I look forward to seeing what you've created.
Ok, normally I don't like downloading VNs that just came out because they don't have that much content and I'm left wanting, but I couldn't resist and I don't regret it AT ALL, this is too great! Please keep up the incredible work!!!
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this is a Very good story. the Interaction with all the players is great. Cannot wait to see what happens next (even tho i just finished Jellyfish)
From reading the description and comments, I'm confused, who's the main character? Or is this told from 3rd party perspective?
There's 1st person perspectives (dialogue and thoughts) from all the 3 main characters (multi-protagonist). There's a narrator too.
That was FUCKING AMAZING. When I saw "chapter 2.4" I was expecting maybe 2 hours tops. 6 hours later I'm sitting here in the middle of the night writing this post absolutely floored.
There's too many things to praise so I'll just pick out my favorites.
Lyna
She's so angry and impulsive and reckless and indecisive. I loved watching her waffle between emotions once her mom showed up and I'm loving how manipulative she is! She adds some spice to what could've been a wholesome but run of the mill (as the fetish goes) incest story
The Music
The choice of music (and sounds for that matter) are HUGE in productions like this. It's so easy to just grab any of the myriad Kevin MacLeod tracks that everyone uses. And hell, in most cases they work just fine. But when you hand pick a song(s) for a scene or better yet create one? It doesn't just hit, it SLAPS. I cannot underestimate the escalation from excited to hyped when the right track kicks in at the right moment.
The buildup
The pace feels good. You could've bolted to the finish or drug it out an eternity and still had a good narrative either way. But as it currently stands the gradual escalations are nice. They're enough to tantalize and frequent enough that you don't feel like you're just clicking through to get to the next spicy bit (not that I'd want to, the story outside of the lewd is quite engaging as well). The only thing that felt off is the rate of progression with the mother. Things felt like they progressed unnaturally rapidly with her. However, for her to spurn the one while clinging to the other? It makes for a zesty dynamic that makes me less inclined to dislike her sudden boldness.
All that to say I absolutely cannot wait for the next update and I will be subbing immediately xD
Thank you for the lovely words! I'm very glad you liked my novel so much. Don't forget to leave a review too :P
I like that you paid attention to the music especially! As for Helga, well, let's say that she's very lonely and I don't like to blue ball too much. But yeah, the naughtiest bits will take a bit longer to come than for Lyna.
menuda obra de arte sigue por ese camino
Gracias! <3
Can you have it as a Zip?
What do you mean? The current download is already a zipfile that you extract.
Oh okay?
I came here to praise your story, and was a bit surprised to read negative aspects concerning moral/legal issues. This is a great porn story, filled with exactly what I look for in porn VNs.
Please keep up the great work--it is wonderful escapism and fantasy and I love exploring every new release.
Yeah it was just that single guy overreacting. Everyone else that has given me feedback here or elsewhere loves it! Thanks for the sub again :P
Actually, I have to say I agree with him. Kinda.
He's right that she's selfish and inconsiderate, repeatedly pushing far past his comfort zone despite being unambiguously told to stop and why. I actually don't mind this; characters in literature of this type tend to be perfect, it's refreshing to finally play a game where they aren't.
What's been bugging me is the way Erik reacts (or rather, practically doesn't) after the cave incident. He's already feeling guilty about what he's done with her, then she basically pins him down and rapes him while he's too disoriented to resist, and then... almost nothing? He feels a bit guilty and there are gestures at being angry, but in his thoughts, there are none of the emotions you'd expect; no real fury or pain or sense of betrayal or much of anything, really. Supposedly he feels ashamed and guilty, but then a day later he's agreeing to get drunk with her despite surely knowing where that would lead, so apparently not that ashamed. It just feels too easy, like you didn't really capture the angst he would be feeling there.
I don't mean to be too critical. In general, your treatment of these characters and the taboo itself is quite sophisticated. It just made that scene and its (lack of) fallout disappointing, IMO.
Because he feels the same, he can't be truly angry at her. The guilt is just a facade, an excuse that will get overcomed over time.
The entire premise of day 6 is to show they can't be without each other. For that I made the deliberate choice to have them mostly converse through the phone, eavesdrop, have internal monologues... They don't interact much directly until the night.
About the wine, it helped because he wouldn't have had the balls yet to talk about those things with her without some alcohol during that night. And then the next day the full reality of the situation comes crashing down and he breaks again.
I'm gonna be honest, some parts of the story so far have been major red flags, Lyna is borderline abusive at times with gaslighting and crossing very clear boundaries. I don't think it's to bad of a story but it's clear that she is abusing her power of him, any boundary she sets is final but any he sets is a goal... Male rape cases are valid, sure you sitting at home thinking "I'm ok with it so he should be too." but imagine it was someone you weren't interested in sexually at all now it's a whole different story. NO is final but the gaslighting she does with victim blaming makes it really hard to sit through at times. Ok yeah she actually sexually abused him while he was sleeping. Listen I'm all for taboo shit, but any rape where the mc character has no say in it happening is a lot, it'd be different if we had choices but this is just fucked. Consensual non consent is a thing but it's not this...
Huh? I don't know if you noticed but this is a story with a clear taboo relationship between them, that's why Erik resists so freaking hard even though it's clearly stated multiple times that he has feelings for her too. (And it'll be much clear in 1.5)
And I don't see this abuse you talk about, it's just a slow build up between two already very close individuals, one which keeps denying his true feelings so the other is forced to take the initiative.
Also I don't get why you are shocked by some mild stuff? Seriously, that night scene is kinda tame compared to the many AVNs where the male MC is just an extremely unhinged pervert who does way worse things from the very start, so I don't t get this double standard of it being okay when a male does it but not a woman.
It's a lot because there is no choice, usually you have to ability to not be a crazy prev, and yes I know it's taboo but taboo vs illegal are two very different things. I don't codon any form of abuse from almost any game. Just because he has feeling doesn't justify how she acts. Having it being a more healthy relationship could tell a great story.
Recognizing abuse is not always easy, the beach seen with the sunscreen is what truly through me off, where it went from more light hearted to way to much, she went past his boundaries then started blaming him for what happened, that is gaslighting and victim blaming. She knows that she has power over him and uses it to get what she wants, that is abuse.
I don't mind taboo there's a lot of games I enjoy that have consensual non consent and other degeneracy but having no choice just makes it read like it's all her doing instead of us the reader/player.
As for "being forced to take the initiative" that is ok in a relationship but that isn't this. Knowing that you have the lead in this you have to make sure that the other person is always ok, communication is key in any relationship. You have to be the bigger person and be welcoming to the other not forcing them.
I don't expect people to like this opinion but morally I can't stand watching someone being gaslit and abused, someone who's shy isn't denying their feelings they might just take longer to accept them, it's ok to take your time.
Overall it's not a slow build it took place over a few days. I never said it's ok for a male to do it I brought this up because any abuse is not ok and male sexual abuse goes heavily unreported. It's not that I hate all the taboo stuff, it's how the story is written, it's someone clearly breaking boundaries in what is a very serious game. A lot of other VN's get away with it for me anyway because they're not meant to be taken seriously, this wants to be.
My opinion is that you are overthinking this and only seeing those signs of supposed gaslight while ignoring the rest of the dialogues and narration. Plus, yes I know it's just a few days but I tried to build up a backstory and some of their past a bit so you realize their relationship has been cooking their whole life (but I don't have the time to tell that in a traditional way, obviously).
You'll see Erik is just as much in love with Lyna as she is on him in 1.5. And even if I did go in that direction you say, it's still fiction so whatever. I just want to tell a hot story that is not the usual taboo AVN where the main topic is not approached in the slightest at all and the characters might as well not have any labels.
i do not see his 'red flags'. All I see is 2 young adults strugling with feelings for each other which are deemed taboo by the sociatal constructs being handed down from one generation to the next. I do kinda see her as being more assertive in her approach to those feelings and him being more timid (which is refreshing to see in a VN because usually the MC is cocky SoB or at least becomes one).
Basically I don't see any problems this VN offers except to people that had their minds crippled by society.
I have friends in my circle that have had the courage to break through these boundaries. (not solely talking about inter-familiar concepts).
Now that that is out of the way, i would like to adres the dev for the game itself.
You, my good sir, have created what i would call part of a masterpiece. The story is built good, albeit very different. The characters have a decent backstory which is being explained during the story and epilogue.
The visuals are good.
The amount of content was lacking but that was to be expected from a game that has not been released that long.
All in all i give this VN a solid 8.5/10 already.
And i'm very much looking forward to new content.
Keep up the good work and i hope you will not let others dictate what's good or not. Because you have to remember that you cannot appease everyone with the same content.
I know, thanks for the kind words! Look forward to 1.5 tomorrow ;P
You need 100% FEWER Twitch THOTs in your life. Those THOTs and their militant lesbian friends have lied to you. They have an agenda to push, and can't let stupid shit like facts get in the way!
Just because someone doesn't get a clear written "yes" before every action taken does NOT equal rape and/or abuse.
Furthermore, you say that taboo is OK, but criminal behavior is not. Spoiler alert: TABOO IS ILLEGAL! Even if completely consensual, practitioners of incest can be charged with the CRIME of incest. D'oh!
So, while you say, "I don't want criminal behavior represented in a game;" what you really mean is, "please only show me the criminal behavior that I like and accept." (That hurts your credibility more than a little.)
Finally, thanks for convincing me to download this game. I'm totally cool with rape, the more aggressive and (fingers crossed) violent the better. Thanks to you, this game went from "meh, probably not" all the way to "fuck, I can't miss this!"
Sorry but the stuff in my game is mild, the guy was exaggerating. There's no violence to be found here, so don't expect any of that.
I absolutely did NOT expect violence. I was mocking his overly sensitive reaction to a girl pushing a guy's boundaries and/or buttons.
I'm an old man. I'm well aware that "no" doesn't necessarily mean no. Especially when it comes to two people that have a long standing relationship. I look forward to seeing what you've created.
I'm so glad you loved it! Much more to come...
Consider supporting me in the future if you like it, it helps!
This is so hot.
Please add more POV scenes !! (preferably from Erik)
It will only get hotter :3